Tarot, the Oracle of Life | |
 What exactly is a beginner's deck anyway?
I often read and hear about how some decks are more user-friendly or easier to understand for those who are just starting out on their Tarot journey. The Rider Waite Smith is almost universally acclaimed as THE beginner's deck par excellence.
I couldn't disagree more, both with the idea that there is such a thing as a beginner's deck in the first place and with the premise that if there was such a deck, that the RWS would be it.
Now don't get me wrong, if the sole purpose of your Tarot journey is the in-depth study of the symbolism, artwork and historical significance of a particular deck, the RWS is probably a good choice as a starting block. The images, especially in the Minor Arcana, are quite easy to understand and provide a very solid base for any new student of the Tarot. From there, you can then move on to study more obscure, less candid decks such as the Thoth or the Marseilles.
However, if you're planning on using your deck as a fortune telling tool or even just for personal meditation, the idea that there is such a thing as a beginner's deck becomes rather laughable. The best beginner's deck is the one you connect with on a primal level, regardless of how user-friendly the so-called "experts" might think it is. It's very much like what people say about true love: When you find it, you will KNOW.
When you pick up a deck, look through the cards and instantly feel that you've found your best friend; when the artwork speaks to you with crystal clarity, no matter how convoluted, abstract or impenetrable it might seem to others; when you can pick any card out of the deck and get an intuitive response to it, even if you have no clue what the traditional meaning might be. THAT is the best beginner's deck in the world for you. If you find it, congratulations and don't ever part with it. This deck will be your constant companion from now on. It will see you through the highs and lows of your life. You may stray every once in a while and try out other decks, but this is the one you'll keep coming back to time and time again.
I was lucky enough to find such a deck in Alistair Crowley's Thoth. No matter how many more decks have been added to my collection over the years, my Thoth is the only one I really trust my intuition implicitly with. It's like an extension of myself. It's never made it on any "Best Tarot Decks for Beginners" list I've ever seen, but it is definitely responsible for my unending love affair with the Tarot.
Some people have a very clear idea of how they want their funeral arrangements to be carried out. For me, I honestly don't care what my loved ones decide to do with my body, but whatever their choice, be it a burial, cremation or any other fancy new trend of the day, I want to leave this world clutching my Thoth deck to my heart.
We shall be one until the very end, my beginner's deck and I. =)
Image: Lust (Strength), from Crowley's Thoth (art by Lady Frieda Harris)
 What is it with cards that seem to appear in readings over and over again, no matter what spread is used, no matter how thoroughly the deck is shuffled? And then just as suddenly as they started showing up, they completely disappear for months at a time.
I used to think that the reason had to be inadequate shuffling, the same couple of cards "sticking" together, until I noticed that the same phenomenon happens when I use my Orphalese Tarot software. Now, the cards on a computer are just pixels on a screen, there is no way they can get stuck to one another the way real card stock can. And yet, the same thing happens. In the span of a week or two, the same cards show up, intent on hammering their message home, until they quietly retreat to the back burner once more.
Lately, Death has been making a come back in my readings. Fortunately, it's been showing up alongside very happy cards, so whatever changes are on the way, (and some of those changes are already starting to become quite apparent) will be very positive ones. Then, there are those cards who rarely, if ever, show up. Judgment is one of those cards for me. I have a very difficult time even remembering what this card looks like in most of my decks. Not that I mind terribly, seeing as I absolutely detest this card, mostly because I've never been able to really understand what it's all about. This sort of makes me wonder sometimes: Does Judgment know that I don't like it and therefore avoids having to come face to face with me? Hmmm.... I kind of like the idea of scaring a Tarot card away...
Or is it simply that it has no place in my life just yet? Is it biding its time until I'm ready to grasp the full meaning of the elusive message it holds?
Whatever it is, the simple fact that it has been noticeably absent from my readings for so long is rather interesting and I don't believe it's a coincidence. Now, if only I could finally understand what this blasted card is all about, maybe its absence would make even more sense. Out of 78 cards, there was bound to be at least one I wouldn't get along with and I suppose Judgment is as good a card as any to fill that role. When all is said and done, I'd much rather not be Judgment's friend than the Devil's or the Tower's or even the Ten of Swords'.
Image from the Renaissance Tarot by Jane Lyle & Helen Jones
 My Thoth deck is male. Very male. Infuriatingly and endearingly so. It's probably why I'm so crazy about it to begin with.
It's no secret I've always gotten along better with men than with women. The same is also true with my Tarot decks. The ones that possess that unmistakably male energy are always those I work best with, especially when reading for myself.
I like the blunt and logical, no frills responses I get when working with the Thoth, the Revelations or the Gothic Tarot. Like my male friends, they keep all unnecessary sentimentality out of the way and dive right into the heart of the matter. There is no mistaking the message in the cards; it's always unambiguously clear and to the point. There is no time wasted with small, insignificant details; no endless analysis of why things are what they are or how they came to be and no pretense that things are not as bad as they actually are.
The usual response, most specifically from the Thoth, can be summarized this way: "THIS is the problem. THIS is the solution. Now go out there and fix it. Or don't, and watch your life get really interesting in a really ugly way. Oh, and don't bother asking me about this again, unless you want me to get really insensitive."
The more feminine decks, like the Tarot of Dreams or the Fenestra, are much more gentle and protective of my feelings. They don't get straight to the point, but sort of ease you into it slowly until they feel you're ready to hear the awful truth. And even then, the message is buried under positive talking points like: "Everything's going to be all right in the end, it's all for the best."; or it's drowned under a mountain of often unnecessary information and pointless details that are nice to know, but ultimately lead to the same exact conclusion one would have gotten by walking a more direct path. I often come out of these readings emotionally exhausted, the way I often feel after listening to my female friends rehash a situation to death.
Of course, sometimes, the direct, no frills approach is not helpful at all and when it comes to more complex situations that involve a lot of complicated feelings, my feminine decks are much better at handling it than the male ones. In cases like that, I use a male and a female deck simultaneously to get the best possible view of the situation form a "He said, She said" standpoint. It makes for extremely interesting readings and it is quite amusing to see both decks either give very similar answers, or be completely at odds with one another on how to go about dealing with the problem, all the while agreeing on the nature of the problem itself.
I still prefer the blunt approach of my Thoth deck, even when it borders on cruelty, especially since it can be surprisingly and uncharacteristically gentle when I least expect it... Just like a man.
Once again, I have fallen head over heels in love.The situation is becoming increasingly desperate. How many more times is my heart supposed to go through the exquisite agony of love at first sight before it gives out on me? I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. It is my firm belief that I must have been cursed at some point in time by some evil spirit, who's decided that it will not cease tormenting me until the total and complete depletion of my bank account.The new love of my life is none other than the drop-dead gorgeous Maroon Tarot. Scans of the Major Arcana are now available for viewing in my Tarot Gallery. This self-published deck is a work in progress, created in Poland by Maia Zaworowska and illustrated by Tomasz Maronski.One look at those hauntingly beautiful cards and I was hooked and heading straight for my PayPal account to place the order. It is only available as a Major Arcana set at the moment, the rest of the deck will be completed sometime in mid 2008. At least I hope so, as I literally cannot wait to see this deck in its entirety. Be still my beating heart... 
 Quite often, when people find out that I'm an atheist, they ask me why I believe in such things as Tarot reading and fortune telling. I always answer their question with another question: "What does my disbelief in God have to do with reading Tarot cards?" Invariably, they respond with a variation of: "But you people don't believe in anything. How can you be a Tarot reader, when you don't believe in anything that science can't prove?"
For some strange reason, people seem to equate atheism with a lack of spirituality. Atheism is simply the absence of belief in Deity. It most certainly is not the absence of belief, period. Rejecting the idea of a supreme being does not mean that we reject all spiritual or esoteric beliefs. When I say that I don't believe in any God or Gods, it does not mean that I believe in nothing.
My spiritual beliefs developed and changed over the years, but I've always been certain about one thing: I always knew that the God I was being taught to believe in couldn't be real. The way I feel about the idea of God is pretty much the same way we feel when we finally figure out that there is no Santa Claus or no Tooth Fairy. It's that moment of clarity when we realize how silly we were for ever believing any of it was real. The only thing lacking in me was the inevitable disappointment that follows the realization, because I never truly believed that there ever was a God to begin with. I always knew there was "something" out there that is greater than all of us, I just never believed that this "something" was a God or Goddess or any other sentient, omniscient, omnipresent higher being. The "something" I believe in doesn't think, doesn't feel, doesn't judge and most certainly doesn't punish or reward. "It" just is. It's a neutral force that flows through all things in the material world and beyond. It's not someone or some thing, it's everything and nothing. Both good and evil, light and dark, male and female, life and death. Everything. And we're part of it. All of us.
This is what I believe in and this is where I draw from when practicing magic, reading Tarot cards or using the pendulum. My being an atheist does not prevent me from having spiritual beliefs that don't involve worshipping an imaginary being. All Gods are man-made. We created them, because they were the only comforting answer we could find to the endless questions about the mysteries of the vast Universe we're suspended in. I just can't accept that in a world filled with a rich mythology and dozens upon dozens of different religious icons, there can be any way of telling which one is the one true God above all others. To me, they're all the same thing: stories told around the campfire to pass the time. Stories and legends that were passed on from father to son, mother to daughter over the course of history, but that were never more than made-up fairy-tales. Some were probably inspired by real characters or events, but were undoubtedly embellished and exaggerated for dramatic effect.
As Bertrand Russell very eloquently said: "I contend that we're both atheists. I just believe in one fewer God than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible Gods, you'll understand why I dismiss yours."
Either way, the atheist in me is not a hindrance to the Tarot reader and never was. Quite the opposite, in fact. I think my lack of belief in a supreme omnipotent being gives me a different perspective when it comes to unraveling the mysteries that still shroud the symbolism in Tarot cards. When the mind is free from the chains of the conventionally accepted belief that there must be a higher power, it can go further in its search and see a much broader picture with infinitely more ease. If I believed there was such a place, I would say that the atheist and the Tarot are a match made in Heaven.
Image from the Tarot of Dreams by Ciro Marchetti
 This is a short story I wrote for a Tarot class I took a little while back. We were asked by our teacher to draw a card at random from our decks and to make up a story based on the image on the card. I used the Revelations deck and drew the Six of Pentacles:
There's this big, jolly, happy man standing in front of stacks and stacks of coins that reach all the way to the ceiling. He's wearing richly embroidered green (the color of money!) robes and seems to be distributing his wealth to all. He's just handing out coins. He seems really happy about it, too. I think that he came upon this money quite by chance, like an unexpected inheritance or lucky lottery win and he just wants to share his good fortune with those around him. Even with strangers.
The expression on his face is that of sheer joy. The man is over the moon. I wonder if he realizes that money can't buy happiness. He seems so happy to be so rich, it's like he's forgotten that money isn't everything.
I also find myself wondering, if he gives it all away, wouldn't that be very foolish of him? He really should be more careful and keep some aside for a rainy day. If he just freely gives and gives, he'll find himself wanting some day and I truly doubt that most of those who take advantage of his generosity today will be there for him tomorrow.
He seems to think that his wealth is permanent, that nothing can ever happen to take that away from him. I'm kind of getting a little annoyed with his behaviour, actually. It's very immature and very silly. He really should know better. After all it wasn't so long ago that he was struggling like everyone else just to make ends meet.
Hopefully, once the giddiness of the "I'm rich!" feeling passes he will start to make careful plans to secure his financial future.
If he doesn't and ends up losing everything, then I guess he'll have learned his lesson won't he? It would be such a waste, though. There's so much good that he could be doing with all that new money. I really do hope he comes to his senses soon.
Image from the Revelations Tarot by Zach Wong
 A very odd thing happened to me as I was completing another blog entry earlier. I suddenly realized that when I read the cards, not only do I respond to the imagery and the symbolism present in each one, but that I also hear sounds. I’m not talking metaphorically, here; I can actually hear the many sounds coming out of the images.
For some reason, I was never fully conscious of this fact until the moment I caught myself writing that the Death card is silent and the Tower is noisy. And now, I can’t turn it off!
It was amazing to me to suddenly be able to focus on the many different sounds that fill my mind when I look at each card. I was so excited, I went to look at all my decks and was even more amazed to find that they all have different sounds. No two Towers sound exactly the same; no two Deaths are silent in the exact same way, as even silence seems to have a sound.
It’s the oddest thing that I had never noticed this before. I started wondering if all Tarot readers also experience this, or at least those who, like me, rely heavily on instinct when reading the cards.
Major Arcana and Ace cards seem to be generally louder than most Minors. Court cards actually have different voices. Some decks are shrill and some are soothing.
Another surprise came when my favorite deck in the whole world, Crowley’s Thoth, the one that never fails me, the only one I ever use to read for myself, turned out to be the quietest of them all. Only a handful of cards in this deck have sounds. The Tower being the loudest by far, all other cards are either completely silent or have very faint, sometimes almost indistinguishable sounds. The suit of Cups was the noisiest; I kept hearing all manner of watery sounds, from a crystalline fountain song to a muddy sloshing sound, to the gentle lapping of waves on a beach. The Five of Cups, however, remained deathly silent in this deck, in complete contrast with the Five of Coins where I kept hearing menacing thunder in the background.
Here is a sample of the noisiest Major Arcana cards in the majority of my decks:
The Fool – birds singing
The Hierophant – solemn Church sounds, monks singing
The Chariot – the sound of a carriage’s wheels on cobbled stones
Justice – odd metallic clanging sounds, almost like a jail gate closing in the distance  Strength – a low growling from the lion, a hushing sound from the woman
Death – heavy silence cut by random sounds from a haunting wind blowing
The Devil – chains, sarcastic laughter, persistent humming sound in the background that seems to rise out of the Earth
The Tower – this one is always the loudest, deafening thunder, lightning striking the ground, buildings crashing, a roaring blaze
The Moon – dogs howling
Judgement – trumpets and horns
Now that I’m completely aware of the various sounds coming out of the cards, I wonder how it’s going to affect the way I read them? Especially since I’ve just realized that some of them also have smells.
The Tarot will always be a never ending source of amazement to me.
All images from the Gilded Tarot by Ciro Marchetti
 The Devil is one of the few cards in the Tarot that a lot of people are afraid of or uncomfortable with; the other obvious suspects being the largely misunderstood Death card and, to some extent, The Tower.
It is always amazing to me how powerful an image can be. The symbolism present in these three cards speaks to the depths of our imagination and brings forth buried, unspoken, ancient feelings of dread.
Consider The Devil. In our Christian societies, the face of a goat on a man’s body, coupled with the inverted image of a pentagram in the background, is the quintessential portrait of Evil. Lucifer, Satan, the Master of temptation and the dark Lord of sin who’s put chains on the poor souls who have fallen for his tricks. The name of the card itself is enough to evoke terrifying visions of hellish punishment. It reminds us of our very human tendency to fall prey to our most basic desires and how easily we are led astray by our own weaknesses.
What most people who look at this card usually miss, however, is the fact that the human figures could very easily untangle the lose chains and set themselves free. In some decks, they are trapped inside a cage whose door was intentionally left ajar. Whatever image the artist has chosen to represent the underlying meaning of this card, the option to set yourself free is always there. This is why this card should never be feared. It tells us that no matter how far into despair, temptation or addiction we’ve gone, we have the freedom to escape. The choice, as ever, is ours alone. We are the masters of our destiny; we control our desires and our choices. The Devil only has power if we surrender to him. He is there to lure and entice us into harming our bodies and destroying our peace of mind, but, ultimately, we have the freedom to say no.
On its lighter side, the card is the symbol of the recklessness of youth; the urge to party until the morning light and to hell with the massive headache and hangover that will follow; the willingness to experience everything life has to offer and to overdo it without fear or even any thought of possible harmful consequences. In other words Sex, drugs and Rock and Roll, baby! Or in the words of the one and only Scarlett O'Hara, one of the Devil's most typical victims: "I won't think about it now. I'll think about it tomorrow".
 Death is another card that is never well received, unless you’re able to get past the literal meaning of the word. The symbolism here once again conjures painful images of loss and suffering. The cloaked and hooded figure with a skull for a face, carrying a scythe is unsettling and reminds us of the random and indiscriminate nature of death. It can come and strike at any time. Unlike the Devil, we can’t possibly fight it and win. When it comes, it marks the inescapable end.
Yes, Death can literally mean that someone is about to leave this world; trying to pretend otherwise would be dishonest on my part. More often than not, however, it means that something must end in order for something better, healthier, stronger to take its place. It’s an inevitable change, as unavoidable as Death itself, which must happen for the good of all. The cycle of life goes on and with each new “death” we are reborn with a wealth of new and valuable knowledge. Such is the positive aspect of the Death card. Yes, it will be painful and very hard to adjust to. We may not even understand the full impact of what happened until months, sometimes years later, but we always realize that it was all for the best. The lessons learned are often invaluable.
 The Tower, in my experience, seems to scare the people I read for less than the two previous cards. Oh, they still do a double take depending on the deck being used; some Tower cards do look a lot more catastrophic than others. Yet, for some reason, the common reaction to this card is more about resignation and acceptance of impending doom than about the cold fear and dread that usually follows the appearance of the Devil and Death. It’s almost as if they’d rather deal with whatever new cataclysmic event life has in store for them, than to face the finality of Death or the daunting task of removing the Devil’s chains from their souls.
Having lived through a few Tower moments in recent months myself, I know that I would take the other two cards over this one any day of the week. The Tower always strikes unexpectedly, noisily and with a shattering lack of mercy or compassion. Unlike Death, an oddly silent and colorless card, the Tower is an explosion of sound and blinding color. Sometimes it can signal positive things, such as the intensity of love at first sight, which the French fittingly call “le coup de foudre”, in other words, “being struck by lightning”. Yes, love at first sight is a Tower moment if there ever was one.
Most often, however, the Tower, especially when the Ten of Swords also appears in the reading, brings traumatizing events such as car accidents; sudden and debilitating illness; the destruction of one’s home through fire, earthquakes and other natural disasters; the unexpected end of relationships due to utter and complete betrayal or death of a spouse; the loss of a job at the worst possible moment and other life-shattering situations.
Life is a scary and wonderful journey. We all meet the Devil sooner or later, for he dwells within ourselves; we all face the cyclic, inevitable changes brought on by Death and we all must deal with the devastation of the Tower at some point in our lives. The question is, which one scares YOU the most? All images from the Quest Tarot by Joseph Ernest Martin
 One of the most difficult things Tarot readers often face is the challenge of reading for themselves. Many have said they aren't able to do it without losing their objectivity, without seeing what they want to see in the cards. This is also one of the reasons many readers will not read for people they are very close to.
Other readers, although admittedly very few, have no major problems reading for themselves or those they love. I am one of those unlucky readers. I say unlucky because to me, it's more a curse than a blessing. I truly wish I wasn't able to read for myself or my loved ones. While it's wonderful to see good things and good fortune in some of my readings, I could do without knowing about the negative and painful moments that are to come.
I always try to soften the blow when reading for others, when certain Sword cards or some of the more unequivocally harsh Majors come up. I know that difficult and painful moments are coming and yet I can't bring myself to tell my querents the true extent of what I see. So I tell them that something bad is coming but that it will help them grow and evolve. That all will be good in the end and that the lesson learned will be worth all the anguish and suffering. I always try to give them the hope they can cling to when the prediction does come true and they find themselves lost and hurt and confused at what life is indiscriminately throwing at them. I want them to see the light at the end of the tunnel as they walk through the darkest time of their life.
I am, unfortunately, unable to be this kind to myself. Even though I know that everything happens for a reason, the good and the bad, I just can't lie to myself and pretend that it'll be okay. I know it won't be. I know it'll hurt like hell and I know I'll never be the same afterwards. Some events are so painful they change you forever. When I see difficult times ahead in my own readings, I'm unable to sugarcoat it.
For some time now, my readings have been giving me very bad news. Not in the immediate future, but still close enough to scare me to death. Something terrible is coming my way and I have no clue how I'm going to survive it this time. I don't understand why there has to be so much pain. I've already learned many hard lessons in my life, isn't it about time I get a break? The cards don't seem to think so and the cards have never lied to me.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all doom and gloom, there are some happy things in store for me still, but the shadow of despair is looming over everything. It's only a matter of time before all hell breaks lose in my life. I wish I didn't know this. I wish I could go to someone and ask them to read for me and tell me that it'll all make sense someday. The only problem is I'll know that they're lying, or that they're trying to soften the blow the way I always do. Sometimes, it just will never be okay again.
Such is the curse of those who have the ability to read for themselves. I wish I didn't have it. I truly do.
All images from Alistair Crowley's Thoth Tarot, art by Lady Frieda Harris
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